When all through the house
Not a present was wrapped, not even a blouse.
No stockings were hung, no chimney was there.
Just an old radiator, grey, cold, and bare.
The Child was refusing to go to bed,
He was giving his mother an ache in the head.
She wanted nothing more than to start to wrap,
So that before morning she could get a nap.
The Boy just kept rambling, much like a hatter,
Mom's very last nerve was starting to shatter.
She considered adding NyQuil to his drink, just a splash,
In the hopes that in bed he soon would crash.
The forecast was dry, not calling for snows.
Mom thought, "Well, jeez, this really blows."
Soon Santa on the firetruck would be drawing near,
For that, it was good that the sky was all clear.
To Sister 4's house they drove kind of quickly,
Mom commented on how others drive dick-ly.
She contented herself by calling them names
Like "Poop-face" and "Jerk-wad" and "Big doo-doo brains".
She was hoping to find dinner with every fixin'
But none was there so said she, with very good diction
"Before coming next time, I will be sure to call,
To make certain that dinner is ready, ya'll".
"Is it too much to ask for one piece of pie?"
Heaved Mom with a very sad, very dramatic sigh.
"This Christmas is turning decidedly blue
But on the bright side, at least, nobody has flu."
"Did you hear that Sister 5's babe has a new tooth?"
Asked Sister 4 as she poured the gin and vermouth.
"She sure is a cutie, her sweetness abounds
But when she starts crying you don't want to be around"
They all talked until the talk was ca put
Glad that they didn't get off on the wrong foot.
Soon it was time for them to get back
So the Boy could finally, at last, hit the sack.
He went right to bed and had dreams visionary
Of a big man in a red suit who was very hairy.
He had a bright smile and a large potbelly
From spending too much time in line at the deli.
Mom said, "At last a moment to myself."
Then she reached up and pulled off the shelf
A movie to help her relax in her head
Before finishing the wrapping and going to bed.
With the movie on, she finally got down to work
While watching an the elf from the Wood of Mirk.
She wrapped toys, and movies, and even some clothes
Using bags, and boxes, and ribbons, and bows.
All would be ready to be placed under the tree artificial
For the day celebrating the guy in Paul's epistle.
Mom would get to bed just before first light
After wishing Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.